I'm not really sure how to even start this post... but today I'm not strong.
Today, I have...
--spent far too much time 'learning' about what may lie ahead if our baby has a chest that's too small
--read too many stories that didn't end the way I thought they would
--not prayed nearly enough
--held my daughter close while she's sleeping and wondered if I would get the chance to do that with her brother
I know I need to shake it off and remember all of the strong words I've written before. I know I need to remember that God is in control. But, today it's hard.
Just lean into Him....there is nothing wrong with being sad or doubting or worrying...it is normal because we are only human. But when you feel this way just let Him hold you. Saying prayers right now that God will wrap you in his arms and let you feel his comfort...
ReplyDeleteLou Cinda
Hi,
ReplyDeleteWe were told at 35 weeks that our daughter would for sure have a skeletal dysplasia which could be mild to lethal, so I think I have an idea about what you have been going through over the last few weeks.
How small is the thorax?
You may want to read this, I posted a bit about how to get a prenatal diagnosis
http://ourtinyhypo.blogspot.com/search/label/Prenata%20diagnosis
hang in there.
ReplyDeletepraying for you and your family
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Mary, also I saw that you posted on the FB parents of little people site, I don't think that it is a very active site... Find the yahoo group for parents of little people: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/parentsoflittlepeople2/
ReplyDeleteand ask to be added, you will get fantastic support through there.
The truth is, you are going to need people who have gone through this before, we are not equipped to deal with something like this...
First of all, this kind of a feeling/day is normal and ok. My son has a skeletal dysplasia called metatropic dysplasia, and he was diagnosed at about 10 months. I have been thankful for the months of blissful ignorance since we discovered this. I can not imagine the difficulty of the unknown combined with not being able to look into his eyes. You will get through this and find a new reference point for feeling normal, but don't ever beat yourself up about having a bad day. The most important thing is to not keep it all inside and share. I am not sure that I have much to offer in the way of specific support, but am happy to be a resource if you need anything at all.
ReplyDeleteErin (kaleanderin dot blogspot dot com)
I have been following your struggles and I truly feel for you. It is the unknown that we fear. I feel like we are never given what we cannot handle, so that must make you a pretty strong woman because you will be able to hand anything. Stay strong, you will get through it.
ReplyDeleteLisa
Love you Mary. Thinking and praying for you everyday. <3
ReplyDeleteMary, I just want to give you the biggest hug! It's ok to be sad and to let yourself feel exactly what you're feeling. I think writing it down like you're doing is one of the best therapeutic things you can do.
ReplyDeleteLove, hugs, and prayers from Asheville!
Love, Mel
I hope today is feeling a little better than Monday. If not, that's okay, though. Sometimes it takes a while to work through different layers of grief. {{Hugs}}
ReplyDeleteFirst, I am so sorry. I have lost two infants. Our first was stillborn. No one could give any explanation why, all tests showing he was perfect. During our third pregnancy, we learned we were going to be blessed with twins! We had a boy and a girl. Our daughter got a bacterial blood infection while in the hospital and died when she was 5 days old. With all this being said, I can relate to the grieving you are going through. Babies aren't "suppose" to be born with problems. I learned through my process that life is so fragile...even at conception. I also learned that it is best to talk about it, use it somewhow in a positive way. I will be praying for you, your husband, child and unborn baby!
ReplyDeleteSending prayers your way.
ReplyDelete