C-Section Scheduled and Pictures of Will

I'm going to start this post with a picture.  Here's our sweet boy, Will, last Wednesday.  It is easy to get caught up in all the medical drama, so I think it's important to remind myself that it's really all about him. His sweet, big cheeks and chin that reminds me oh so much of his big sister.  When things get tough and I start feeling overwhelmed, I find that I have to remind myself that there's actually a little boy in there that will be coming to greet us very soon.  Say hello to our beautiful boy!  :)

Will on March 21, 2012 at 33 weeks

Speaking of his pending arrival, we have a scheduled date for my c-section!  My original due date is May 9, but they're planning to take him at 39 weeks on May 2.  We are supposed to be at the hospital by 11 AM and surgery is scheduled to begin at 1 PM.  Of course, the date could change if Will decides to make an early entrance and the time will likely be adjusted if there are other surgeries that throw things off that day.  I'm praying that he'll hold tight, though, and that things go as scheduled.  We're going to need LOTS of prayers that day; mark your calendars!  I can't even begin to describe the feelings I have when I think about his delivery, so I'll spare you on those ramblings for now.

We don't really have any new medical updates on Will at this moment.  During last week's ultrasound, they did a little physical to see how some of his major systems were performing.  We got confirmation that he is swallowing and practicing his breathing.  He's also moving around like crazy and passed his physical test with an 8 out of 8 score.  Even though it was a very basic test, it was still good news for us.  We'll take it!  We go back the week after next to check on his chest and abdomen sizes again, and I'm already feeling super apprehensive about that.  BUT, that's next week.

Now, I'm going to switch gears for a minute.  Come on and go with me, okay?  I often think about God's purpose in all this.  What is his plan for me?  What is his plan for my family?  What is his plan for Will?  I've prayed about it and trust that in God's time I will understand how this journey is intended to play out.  I have ideas in my head about how I would love for this journey we've been on to impact others, but I don't know if it's in God's will yet.  That's all to be seen.  I've also thought lots about whether I should share all of this out there for anyone and everyone to see.  Whenever that doubt creeps in, it seems that something happens to make me feel like I should keep going.  For example, just yesterday I received an email from a sweet momma out there that is going through an almost identical situation.  I don't have any answers for her...I don't have the right words to say...but I'm here to show her she's not alone and if this blog can serve that purpose, then that's good enough for me.  For now.  You know I have grand plans forming somewhere in the back of my mind.  Just pray that God's guidance and wisdom will be shown to me in His time that I figure out how we can use this journey to most glorify Him.  

I also wanted to share these verses with you that I stumbled upon today while reading another blog.  

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety upon him because he cares for you.  Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  To him be the power for ever and ever.  1 Peter 5:6-11

This verse reminds me so much of my Dad.  He used to always say to me, "this too shall pass".  I've thought of that phrase quite a bit while on this journey.  In some ways, I want resolution.  I just want to know what's going to happen and move on with the next phase.  At the same time, I don't want to wish away our time.  Each moment Will stays in my belly is another minute he's with us...  Another minute to treasure his tumbles, jabs and kicks.  I just have to remember that I, alone, am truly helpless in this situation.  I must turn to God humbly and admit that I'm weak in this journey.  For someone like me, this is hard.  I want to find answers; I want to make it better for our boy.  Sometimes, I want to be angry or jealous, but I have to remind myself that's not productive and it's not very graceful either.

So, as we get ready to enter our last month of this journey with Will in utero, I ask for your continued prayers.  The doctors visits will continue and we're expecting to hear back from Cedars Sinai any day now.  The information will continue coming, but the fact remains that we won't truly have any better idea on Will's outcome until he's born.  Our family continues to need your prayers and we thank you for every single one.

Another pic of Will from March 21