The crazy part of all this is that my Dad passed away seventeen years ago. I didn't blog on Friday, March 30th, the anniversary of my Dad's death because I wanted to focus on thinking about him and my present life, not recounting the memories from that actual day. Over the weekend, though, I continued to think about him more and I found myself missing his presence and wondering what he would be doing if he were alive today. What words would he have to say to me about being a parent? Would he be reassuring about Will's birth and trying to make me think everything's going to be ok or would he be patiently reminding me about God's plan for us and how little Will fits in? I wish I knew what my Dad would say. I just know it would make me feel better. The craziest part is that seventeen years have passed; my Dad has been gone for a longer amount of time than I actually knew him. I think that says SOOO much about our relationship.
1st Picture: Dad's classic pose :)
2nd Picture: Dad and Me Easter of 1984
3rd Picture: Dad with my Grandmother
that just passed away at the end of 2011
I couldn't help but post that last picture. I just love how my Grandmother is waving from behind my Dad. She passed away at the end of 2011 just as all of the difficulties with Will were becoming known and I can't help but think of those two up in Heaven having a blast and watching down over us. :)
Besides thinking so much of my Dad the past few days, I have also been thinking about the other big milestone. Today marks the official day when we are one month away from meeting Will. I'm still leaning towards a c-section and it's been scheduled for Wednesday, May 2. Of course, he could decide to come early, but knowing that we are at the most one month away from his birthday just astounds me. This pregnancy journey has been SOOO long and to know that there's an end in sight is overwhelming. It is kind of bittersweet in some ways, too. I know Will is safely tucked away here in my belly and the thought of bringing him out into this world where the reality of whatever lies ahead is going to greet us scares me incredibly.
I continue to pray for strength and peace in the days ahead, but sometimes I can't help but look back at people like my Dad and Grandmother for strength, too. They were two truly amazing people that I know would love Will just as much as I ever can.