But It Wouldn't Be Will....

Our sweet Will is seven weeks old and time is flying by!!! He still continues to do very well minus his bad belly / reflux issues. We still haven't figured out how to get it under control, and I am starting to think it is just one of those things only time will fully resolve.

Because of Will's bad belly, his sleeping at night is suffering a bit. He tends to do quite well until around 4 AM (yes, I am blogging at 4 am!), but then he has a hard time settling down after that.

In these quiet, dark hours of early morning, I often find myself deep in thought. I lay with my sleeping boy peacefully on my chest. I can feel the rise and fall as he breathes; I feel his warm breath and hear his respirations. I would not trade these moments for anything.

The other night, I was thinking back on how difficult the pregnancy was. How I cried out with fear and panic as we drove down the road after our 18 week anatomy scan when they first discovered issues with Will. I found myself lost in thoughts about how bad his legs would look. Would he ever walk? I wondered how his birth would affect our family. Not long after this 18 week appointment, we had another ultrasound and more things were found that were 'wrong'; the doctor told us we only had a few days to make a decision as to whether we would terminate the pregnancy. This was never a choice for us. God had given us this boy, this journey, this chance to be shown how great His love is.

The point of all that reflection is this... I would not change a second of the heartbreak, the sleepless nights of worry or the difficult questions our pregnancy made us consider. I would not trade those moments for a perfect pregnancy. I caught myself wondering the other night what life would have been like if the pregnancy had been 'normal'. It may have been easier, but so many things would have been lost. We wouldn't have our amazing little miracle, Will. We would not have realized how strong we can be. We wouldn't take as much time to treasure the small moments. I'm treasuring them now...at 4:30 in he morning and I'm so thankful for it. So take time today to treasure a small moment...I know I will.