A Bed for Babies

We made it through the weekend!!!  :)  I am beyond relieved that we didn't end up back at the hospital.  Now, I have my sights set on actually making it to Wednesday's scheduled c-section at 1:00 PM.  I kind of feel like I'm pushing it by setting my sights on Wednesday, but I can't help but feel optimistic that we can make it another 48ish hours.  Hang on Will, hang on!!

Once we got back from the hospital Saturday, we stayed pretty quiet the rest of the weekend.  I'm laying around lots and trying to stay off my feet as much as possible.  One thing I couldn't help but finish up, though, was a baby bed we had been working on for Will's big sister, Emme.  She has been such a trooper through all of this, and I really wanted to leave her with something special and new to play with before we head off to the hospital.

I couldn't think of anything more special than fixing her a bed for all of her special babies!  Recently, she has grown really attached to all of her dolls and loves laying them out on blankets and pretending to feed and change them.  On a trip to my mom's house earlier this year, I spotted an old wooden doll bed that I had played with when I was younger.  It needed to be repainted, but it was structurally sound.  The best part is that it was made by Emme's great-great grandfather (my mom's grandfather).  He was born in 1870, so this is a pretty old baby bed that has been passed down through our family.  In fact, here's a picture of her great-great grandparents, James and Susan.  I can't help but think they'd be thrilled that she's playing with the baby bed he made many, many years ago!  I also just have to say that he was the quite woodworker.  He had an amazing reputation for being an impeccable artist; building everything from instruments to over 1,000 wagons for local families.

Emme's great-great grandparents, James Jethro and Susan

I didn't get a before picture of the bed, but all it really needed was a new coat of paint and sealer.  Some of the paint was chipping and I was worried about potential lead, so we didn't try to scrape or sand it down.  Everything I read said to just paint over it and seal it well.  Carlton and my mom helped do all of this and I put the finishing touch on it this morning.  Mom said that when she was little her grandmother made a pillow for the bed, so I used some leftover fabric from Emme's bedroom curtains to make a pillow, too. I absolutely love the bed and the history that goes along with it.  Plus, it fits in perfectly with the color scheme in Emme's own big girl room.  Win-win-win!

Emme's new bed for her babies that was made by her
great-great grandfather in the early 1900s!

Thanks for all of your messages and prayers over the weekend!  It's hard to believe that we'll be meeting Will in just over 48 hours!!  Keep those prayers and thoughts coming our way; they truly make a difference!

This Is A Test...

In the spirit of following the emergency broadcast system protocol, all I can say about today is this...

Today was a test.  Had today been an actual emergency this post's title would have said, "welcome baby Will!".

That's right, folks, earlier today we went to the hospital with signs of early labor.  I am indeed having contractions but they are the type that can go on for days.  Well, at least we hope they go on for days...  Evidently, when you're having a "special" baby, it's kind of important to the doctors that we try to have all the right folks on hand for delivery.  It's not that Will can't be delivered successfully over the weekend or at night; it's just that it's better if it's during the week when more staff is on hand and they're all a bit more equipped to handle any emergency situations.

The crazy part is that the decision on whether to have Will today or not was totally left up to us.  We could have stayed and had the c-section and this post would have been totally different.  BUT, we decided to try to wait it out until at least Monday.  They don't have any openings in the schedule on Monday or Tuesday, but obviously, if we can't delay labor long enough, then they'll squeeze us in as an emergency c-section.  We're still hoping for Wednesday, though, so I'm SERIOUSLY going to be laying in bed trying to keep Will in utero until then.  We'll just have to see if he's willing to cooperate.

Today was a great dry run for the big day, though!  We got to go through the whole registration process, and I even got to get an IV and all kinds of monitoring.  Oh yeah and I got the talk from the anesthesiologist  about what will happen if I have to be given general anesthesia.  It was a true pleasure opening up my mouth super wide this morning and showing Mr. Hot Doctor my tongue and airway.  All I could think about was whether anything was stuck in my teeth or if my breath was smelly.  I also enjoyed telling him that I didn't yet have any chipped or missing teeth.  Yeah, he had to ask me that...  Which makes me wonder exactly how frequently do they chip or knock out a tooth if they have to give you a general?!?  I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a nightmare about a missing tooth tonight.  Thank you, Mr. Hot Doctor.

The other nightmare I'm going to have tonight is what the OB told me about how she was planning to cut Will out.  She basically told me how much bigger she was going to cut me so she didn't have to pull and tug on him too much (because of his potentially brittle bones).  Let me just say this...when she kept stretching her hands further and further apart to show me how big the incision would be, I got a little nervous.  She also told me about how she would rip open my uterus and "squeeze him out like a grape".  I promptly stopped her and told her that I'd heard enough and that I would "never, ever eat a grape the same way ever again".  Thank you, Ms. Grape Squeezer Outer.

In true Will fashion, today was definitely eventful and unexpected...  Say a prayer that I can get these contractions under control and that the little guy stays put until Wednesday.  Surely he can follow directions for once?!?!  :)

And since no good post is complete without a picture...here we are in the middle of our test run today.

Sooooooo tired....  

In the hospital...

Looks like sweet Will is showing us once again that he is going to always challenge the predictable! We are at the hospital with signs of early labor and contractions. Not sure yet if / when the c section will happen but we are making preparations.

Ideally he will wait until Wednesday because the "team" will be here but I don't know if he will cooperate! I will keep you posted.

Today is also my grandmothers birthday. She passed last October and I can't think of anyone else I would want him to share a birthday with. She was one of the strongest ladies to ever walk this earth and I know he would be a lucky little boy to share this day with her. In fact, I bet she's already filling him full of the spunk he will need to continue proving all the doctors wrong!!!

Say a prayer for us and stay tuned.

One Week Away...

Well, here we are...one week away from meeting Will.  I had another ultrasound this morning to check on him to ensure my amniotic fluid levels had risen enough to allow us to continue letting him grow another week and they had!  That was such a HUGE relief and I'm excited to have a few more days to prepare and spend lots of one-on-one time with Emme before Will's born.

In addition to checking his fluid levels this morning, they also did a standard biophysical profile (BPP).   This is basically where they check him to ensure he's practicing his breathing, moving around enough and that his heart rate is okay.  Thankfully, everything came back okay.  The only new thing they saw today was that he has an enlarged bladder.  When the doctor came in to tell me about it, she didn't really go into a lot of detail.  I think since we're just a week away from delivery, the doctors kind of feel like there isn't a lot of reason to try to figure stuff out with Will.  There have been so many abnormal things this whole pregnancy and we still don't really know why, so I kind of feel like they just add other issues onto the list and move on.

Speaking of the doctors kind of adding stuff on a list and not really going into detail about it, I also learned today that Will has abnormal hands and feet.  We got the first suspicion that something may be going on with his hands and feet last Friday night.  That's right,. Friday night.  I opened a letter from the geneticist we met with a few weeks ago and it was basically her report / follow up from our meeting.  She summarized all of Will's issues and included a sentence on his "abnormal hands and feet".  I immediately stopped reading and took the letter to Carlton.  He agreed that it was the first time we had ever heard anything abnormal mentioned about his hands or feet.  Of course, I stewed all weekend over this new bit of info and had planned to call on Monday to ask them about it, but honestly I tried to push it out of my head.  At this point, what is another issue?  I guess I'm kind of like the doctors.  I get annoyed at them for brushing over issues, but I have been doing that in a way, too.  I think it's just easier to come to terms with the fact that we're just really not going to know what's going on with Will until he's born.

Everyone has been asking me how I feel since we're a week away from his birthday, and I just don't really have the right words to describe my feelings.  In some fleeting moments, the fear of the unknown is literally paralyzing.  It takes my breath away.  I find myself breathing deeply and trying to calm my nerves.  In other moments, I find myself smiling happily at the thought of just holding him in my arms, at seeing those locks of hair we've seen on ultrasound so many times and on finally catching a glimpse of his wiggling toes.  I can truly say that I'm excited to meet Will face-to-face.  I want to meet my son.  I want to hold him and start taking care of him.  I guess I want to finally feel like we have some control or means to help him.  BUT, I also fear that somehow next Wednesday could be the beginning of the end.  The doctors all seem so pessimistic that it is easy to allow myself to let my mind take control over my heart and my faith.

While sitting in the doctor's office this morning, I got a text from a dear friend.  It said simply, "Proverbs 3: 5-6".  I immediately looked it up and found these words.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

As I sat on the exam table waiting for the doctor, I found myself reciting those words and praying for Will and for our family.  I truly have faith that the Lord's will will be done with our Will (whew, say that 3 times fast!), but that doesn't make it easy.  So, back to next Wednesday.  I'm scared, but yet I'm hopeful.  I am excited to meet our son and I'm praying for peace and strength for whatever that day may hold.  I also ask that you remember us in prayer, especially next Wednesday, May 2. The c-section is scheduled for 1:00 PM EST, and I'm hoping to send out a quick Facebook message when we're actually headed back for delivery.

PS - Thanks to everyone for your words of support, comments, emails, cards, etc.  The outpouring of love and support for our family and for Will has truly touched my heart.  At a time when I could be feeling very alone, I feel completely surrounded by love and support.  I don't know that I'll ever be able to pay all of that love and support forward, but I'm certainly going to try!

Boob Light Enhancement + An Update

Yep, that's right folks...the title of this post is all about boob lighting.  If you don't know what I'm talking about then perhaps a picture will help.

That there is what many these days are now calling boob lights.  Most of us probably have them somewhere in our home.  We certainly do.  In fact, all of the houses I've ever lived in have some form of boob lighting hanging from the ceiling.

In recent years, there has been increasing design chatter about ways to transform these lights into something with a bit more, ehhhh, design.  I happen to think these lights serve a perfectly good purpose just as they are.  For example, if you have super outdated light fixtures and are looking to make a quick, effective change throughout your house, then these boob lights offer a quick update for relatively little cost.  We did this in our previous house and it made a huge difference in providing cohesive lighting throughout for very little time or money.  BUT, there sometimes comes a point for most of us when we may want something a bit more customized for our spaces.  That's where people get creative and start finding all kinds of ways to revamp boob lights.

One of the rooms I've been slowly working on for almost a year now (ugh, I can't believe it has taken me sooo long) is Miss Emme's big girl room.  I officially started working on it last July and came up with this rough plan.

I've managed to knock out a few of the projects I initially had planned and a few others have taken me for-eva to complete or have been scrapped all together.  Here's a quick list of all the projects I've been working on in Emme's room, along with a quick update on one of the final lighting solutions.  We'll call it a boob light enhancement project, but I'll get to that in just a second...

Here's the recap and links to what has been accomplished...along with a few new pictures!  

• Dresser:  I ended up purchasing an antique buffet and I started refinishing it right before we found out I was pregnant with Will.  It's sitting in her room now and it's almost done...  I'll finish it someday.  
• Wall Hooks:  I haven't purchased anything for this yet, but love this idea I ran across today!
• Chair:  I ended up putting an old school desk (literally!) my mom had in the little play nook.  Emme LOVES it.
• Paint:  All of the walls are 100% painted and I even did a chevron wall in the little play area.  
• Artwork:  I did a custom "you are my happy" canvas and made printable alphabet art.
• Fabric:  I used the daisy fabric you see above to create curtains for the windows.  
• Lighting:  I grabbed an old chandelier from Habitat for Humanity and painted it red for the play area.  The other light in the room was a boob light that had been nagging me for some special treatment for months.  I finally got around to that last week and I'll give you the tutorial below.

And here's a picture of the room before with the beautiful boob light!

Once I had the curtains up and the new red chandelier in place, it became more apparent than ever that I needed to do something to tie the two different ceiling light sources together...that brassy boob light and the snazzy red chandelier just weren't ever going to be BFFs.

Excuse the crappy lighting in this photo!

I came up with lots of ideas, but in the end decided that I wanted to go the easy route of just taking off the glass shade around the boob light and adding a lamp shade instead.  This is a fairly common solution these days, so there's nothing special about this idea.  I basically just purchased a lamp shade and used this tutorial to recover it as necessary and then I added red and white polka dot ribbon trim around the top and bottom edges.  I also took down the boob light base and spray painted it a glossy white to hide the brass.  Super easy and for less than $15 total!

Here are the materials I used for the light cover.

Updated boob light fixture!  It's too bright in the play area to see
how nicely it ties in with the chandelier, but it does!!  Trust me.  :)

So, that's my long winded way of updating everyone on the progress I've made in The Babe's room and just another task I can cross off my pre-Will delivery date to do list.  Wow, that's a mouthful!

Summer Wreath Tutorial

Since last Wednesday's announcement that I needed to stay off my feet the rest of the pregnancy, I've been staying busy around the house on a few projects that allow me to sit most of the time.  One that I've enjoyed most is making a wreath for the front door that would be perfect for summer.  I made a somewhat similar wreath last fall using yarn, but I haven't had anything hanging on the door since Christmas.  The horror!!

My mom and I joked the whole time I was making this wreath that they would have to drag me out of the house kicking and screaming if it wasn't done before Will's arrival!  :)  I hate leaving craft projects halfway done, so thankfully the little guy stayed put until I got it finished.

Here are the materials I used.  I purchased everything with the exception of the sand dollars, twine and glue sticks because I already had these laying around.  Mr. Man, aka Carlton, loves collecting seashells and like items at the beach so he had the sand dollars stored out in the garage.  All I had to do was clean them up and preserve them.  That was super simple and you can follow these easy instructions if you have some laying around and need to do the same.  I used a bleach solution and then I used Mod Podge to harden and preserve them.

I started by wrapping the wreath form in the Caron Simply Soft sage yarn.  I used hot glue to secure the yarn.

Once I had the form 100% wrapped, I added a twine accent around the top.  This also helped cover up where I had to overlap the yarn a bit (you can see the gap in the picture above; I just double wrapped that section).

Then, I roughly placed the sand dollars where I thought I wanted them to go.  I thought the wreath looked kind of empty, though, so I started thinking about what else I could use to fill it in a little.

I decided to continue by adding a few twine accents to pull the whole thing together and add a bit more texture.  I just wrapped lengths of twine around and around until I got the rough size disk that I wanted.  I used hot glue to secure the twine to itself and nearly burnt off the ends of my fingers in the process.  I even have blisters to prove it!

Once I had the twine accents and sand dollars attached securely to the wreath using hot glue, I called this project C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E and proudly announced that little Will could make his entrance into this world anytime he chooses.  Pretty sure everyone around me rolled their eyes!

So, that's it for my summer wreath!  The front door is ready to welcome visitors and I can now sleep a little easier knowing this is one more project off my wish list before Will arrives.  Yes, I lose sleep over such silly little things...




Linked up @: Not Just A Housewife, Home Stories A to Z, How To Nest For Less

Where There's A Will...

During the first few months of this pregnancy, it was pretty hard to think about naming our sweet boy.  Things weren't going all that well and I had such a fear that we were going to lose him before the "edge of viability".  Can I just say how relieved I am not to have to worry about those dreaded words anymore?!  In fact, I think it's important right now just to say how incredibly blessed we are to have made it so far along in this pregnancy.  There was a time when we thanked God for every single day our little boy grew in utero and we cautiously counted down the weeks until he would be big enough to have a chance at survival outside of the womb.  I sit here now, though, staring down his due date and feeling beyond nervous.  Our son is due to be delivered in just over a week; next Wednesday, May 2.  The best part of that is that I'll be 39 weeks pregnant at that point.  We made it to full-term and that is a miracle, praise God!

Let's get back to talking about Will's name for a few minutes.  Before we even got pregnant, we knew that we liked the name, William.  Yes, we're one of those couples that maintain a spreadsheet of boy and girl names we like.  Dorky?  Yes, but I don't care!  It was several months into the pregnancy before we had the courage to really talk about naming him, though.  As I said before, things weren't going well and in some ways we were afraid to name him.  It just seemed that a name would make things more real.  The ironic part is that is exactly why we decided to give him a name and announce it to everyone in the end.  A name did make him more real, not just a blob on an ultrasound image or a baby boy we didn't really know.  The name somehow gave him an identity and helped create a stronger bond between us all.  It also made praying for him so much easier.  The other cool thing about us always having liked the name, William, was the significance of the nickname, Will.  Our little boy has certainly demonstrated an incredible amount of willpower this whole pregnancy.  He has clung to life and proven the doctors wrong for many months and even to this day he continues to stump them and show us that nothing in this journey will be predictable or normal.  

My two kiddos and me walking along the beach October 18, 2011.
Will's hanging out in my belly so you may not see his footprints.  ;)

One of things I'm most grateful for that Will has done for our family is bring us back into a closer relationship with God.  Yesterday at church, the sermon was on how each of us have the opportunity to show others how great God is.  Basically, it focused on how each of us are living examples of Jesus' resurrection and how we have the ability and responsibility to spread His word to others.  I've been praying a lot lately about how our journey can help others and if it's possible to use this walk we've been on to help spread His love.  For example, there have been many times during the last few months that I've seen other expectant moms leaving the high risk doctor's office in tears.  It rips my heart out to see that.  I've been there and I've done that, too.  I just want to grab them and tell them it's going to be okay.  I want to share our story and how God has helped us through the times when things felt so out of control and scary.  I don't yet know how I'm going to pull it all together, but I have some initial thoughts.  I just need God's guidance to point my heart in the right direction and guide my actions according to His will.

I don't know how things are going to play out over the coming days, weeks and months, but I want to lay this out there.  I'm not going to forget this journey we've been on the past 228 days (since complications began).  I am fearful that I'm not going to want to remember these times once Will is born, but I feel led to find a way to help other moms that are just beginning their high risk pregnancy journeys.  I remember how desperate you feel in those early days, how alone and very vulnerable the whole thing makes you, and I feel like there needs to be more support for all of the parents going through it.  More importantly, I want to find a way to share the joy and peace that God alone can bring to you when faced with such uncertainty.  

Things are going to be busy when Will is born, but I promise not to forget.  I realize that when there's a Will, there's a way.  The impossible can be made possible.  Please continue to pray for our family and guidance for me in the aspirations I have to use this journey to help lead others to the peace and compassion of Jesus Christ.  I certainly would not be sitting here today sharing our story if it weren't for His love and the peace he's given to us on this journey.

A Very Special Gift for Will

Yesterday, our family received a beautiful, handmade gift for William.  Words cannot do it justice and when I first laid eyes on it, I cried tears of hope and gratitude.

A fellow church member contacted me several weeks ago and expressed her desire to create a christening gown for sweet Will.  I don't have the right words that adequately express my thankfulness for this beautiful creation that our son will wear.  We will truly cherish it forever.

I held the gown in my arms yesterday and prayed that our sweet boy will indeed have an opportunity to wear the gown at church as a living example of God's perfect gift.  

Isn't it beautiful?  I love every sweet detail and can't wait for our little miracle to wear it one day soon.

Our Last Ultrasound?

As Carlton and I walked into the doctor's office this afternoon for our last scheduled ultrasound appointment, we were joking about how crazy it was that it may be the last time we would be seeing Will before we meet him face-to-face when he's born.  Of course I couldn't let the conversation end without reminding Carlton that our boy likes to throw us tons of curveballs.  Just when we think things are going according to plan, something else pops up that sends us in another direction.  It happened again today.

Will is taking up a lot of space in my belly, so it's becoming harder and harder to see all of his body parts. The same held true for today and we didn't get any good looks at his bones.  We did remeasure his chest and abdomen quickly, though, and came up with a very rough chest to abdomen ratio of 0.7.  If you've been following for awhile, you'll know that we're very relieved to see that this number has crept up over the past few months.  We continue to pray that Will's lungs and chest are developed enough to support his breathing outside of the womb.  This is our #1 concern heading into delivery.

Because this pregnancy has also been all about the numbers, we were shocked today to learn that my amniotic fluid levels are low.  They have been normal the whole pregnancy, so frankly, I hadn't even let the thought creep into my mind that they may become an issue down the road.  I know we look at the levels during each ultrasound, but they have never been notable.  Today, the levels were seven and the doctor said if they would have been a five or lower, she would have sent me in for immediate delivery.  Instead, I have been ordered off my feet and have instructions to drink at least a gallon of water each day. There are lots of reasons you can have low amniotic fluid and thankfully it is something that you can usually get to increase with rest and lots of water.  Sooooo, I guess I'll be resting up the last two weeks of this pregnancy and praying that Will doesn't go into any kind of distress because of this low fluid.

We have to go back again next Wednesday for another ultrasound to check on the fluid, and I guess if it hasn't increased, we'll probably be headed in for an even earlier delivery.  Until then, I guess I will be spending lots of time laying around being lazy.  It's not like I've been staying super busy the last few weeks with projects around the house.  ;)  Maybe I'll finally get around to blogging about all those thing, as long as you promise not to tell the doctor (or Carlton!) exactly how much I've been doing...

Thanks for your continued prayers for our family.  Please continue thinking of us and praying for Will's breathing and that these levels come back up so we can stay pregnant longer and give his lungs an even better opportunity to develop further.

PS - Couldn't help but include this cartoon.  I've totally been nesting lately (as you'll see from my projects I'll soon be blogging about), but I guess now I'll start laying around eating and drinking!

The Difference A Year Makes!

Exactly one year ago today, my family experienced something I never, never thought would happen... our home was struck by a tornado.  It was a Saturday afternoon and we were spending a quiet day at home working on a few projects, focusing mostly on the upholstered headboard for our master bedroom.

Here's a picture of us mounting the hanging brackets on the wall less than an hour before the storm hit.

Like most of the projects around here, things were progressing more slowly than I had hoped and Carlton (aka Mr. Man) was growing impatient.  He suggested we head downstairs to watch the news "just in case" the storms were getting close.  I'm sure I pitched quite the fit over stopping midway through the project, but I gave in and followed him downstairs with Emme in tow.  After switching on the TV, we realized pretty quickly that storms were indeed coming our way.  Honestly, I figured we would get some heavy rain and maybe some gusty winds, but NO WAY did I think an actual tornado would come.

We kept our eyes on the news and after awhile I started getting nervous.  Something about having a baby that's less than a year old and seeing tornadic cells on the radar heading in your direction does that to a person.  I pulled the couch cushions off and put them into our small downstairs bathroom.  Within minutes, we heard on TV that a tornado was on the ground near us and then our TV reception ended.  Not good.  We looked outside and everything looked kind of weird...then we heard it.  Not the freight train everyone references, but we heard a very loud, low roar.  Without hesitation, we exchanged looks and headed into the bathroom to take cover.  Emme wasn't very pleased with this and started crying, plus the electricity went off, so it was dark in the tiny little room.  The house shook and I remember Carlton and me just looking at each other in disbelief.  We uttered quiet prayers and soon enough it was all over.  We heard people in the neighborhood talking loudly outside and cautiously opened the bathroom door.  The first thing we noticed was the smell...pine trees.  Lots and lots of pine odor.  Then, we saw that the windows in our kitchen were blocked out by pine tree limbs and needles.  Once we got outside, here's what we saw at the back of our home.

The kitchen windows and door are to the far left --
that was our first view from inside after the storm.

Here's our patio..notice the lovely furniture that's crumpled under
the trees and how a tree poked through into the kitchen under the window.

Trees did the majority of the damage to our home.  We had several huge pines fall and hit the back of the house, but all of them slid off the house and onto the patio after they hit.  I guess it's a good thing that no entire tree sections were embedded into the house (just limbs here and there).  We had over $35,000 in damage and ended up completing lots of repairs on the house.  The big projects were sistering up some joists in the attic that had taken the majority of the impact from the trees, replacing the entire roof and gutter system, plus replacing and painting all of the siding on the back of the house.  It was a big project!!

Here's a picture of a few of the trees that hit the house.

And here's a picture of the crushed patio furniture!

At the time, we thought this tornado was devastating.  We quickly realized, though, just how fortunate we were.  The storm killed 24 people across North Carolina, including four children.  Sure, our house had damage, but we were fine and that was truly all that mattered.  Then, a tornado struck Joplin, Missouri and we were reminded yet again how fortunate we were and just this past weekend more deadly tornados struck again.  Each of these events remind us just how "lucky" we got!  We can clean up damage from a storm, but could never replace a loved one.

That's kind of the funny thing about life I think...just when you think you have it rough, something happens to bring you back down to the ground.  It's so easy to just go through each day focusing on the here and now, letting little things get to you, that sometimes you forget to stop and count your blessings.  You forget to stop and cherish sweet moments with your kids, like the bedtime hugs and kisses, or the quiet story time, or how they look at you...  Someday, I'll wish I could remember all those things in more detail, but for today I CAN live in the moment.  I NEED to live in the moment of trying to hold onto all of those precious things because you just never know when or how things may change.

A year ago I would have said this tornado would have been a defining moment in our lives as a family. Today, I sit here barely recalling exactly what happened in the days after the storm.  It was a HUGE deal at the time, but now my feet are firmly planted in the here and now and the arrival of sweet little Will in just over two weeks.  We are in the middle of a different kind of storm this year...one with lots of promise and lots of questions.  Thankfully, we also don't have control of this storm either.  All we can do is prepare as best we can, hunker down and live each day to its fullest.  Today, I thank God for every precious moment we have as a family.  I thank Him for our precious daughter that has grown so much in the past year and for each birthday He gives us with our precious son, Will.  I can't wait to meet our little boy very, very soon.

I can't believe how much she's grown!!

Wishbone Day

Less than a week after Will's expected arrival into this world on May 2, lots of osteogenesis imperfecta (OI) parents and their special kiddos will be celebrating Wishbone Day.

Each year, on May 6, people all over the world come together to celebrate the lives of everyone living with and impacted by OI.  If you don't know much about OI (or even if you do!), I strongly encourage you to watch this video to see firsthand how these amazing people are thriving with this rare genetic condition.

Also, folks all over the world are planning to wear yellow on May 6 to show their support.  If you wear yellow to support OI awareness, please be sure to send a picture to me at thetallchickblog@gmail.com.  I would love to show Will pictures of everyone wearing yellow so soon after his birthday in support of OI.

Easter Weekend & Prayers for Will

Hope everyone had a great Easter weekend!  We were super busy and gave it our best shot to take every opportunity to seize the moment and spend lots of time with Emme making fun memories.  We colored eggs, took a day trip to the beach and spent yesterday morning at church celebrating the resurrection!

Here's a picture of our family Easter morning...and yes, this is likely to be the only picture you see of me sporting the Will "bump".  :)

Yesterday's church service was moving in many ways.  It was so great to sit there and really think about the sacrifices made for me, for my family and for sweet Will.  I am BEYOND grateful for the sacrifice Jesus made so we can have eternal life.  This promise brings me much peace during all the unknowns with Will, and yesterday it was so nice to think about how important it is to let go of all the worry and let God handle it.

At the end of the service, our family was presented with a beautiful prayer quilt in honor of Will.  It was so touching to watch as many people from the congregation went up to the quilt after the service and said silent prayers for Will and then tied a knot as a visible reminder of their prayers.  I really can't put it into words, but knowing how many people are praying for him is beyond comforting.  As a mother, sometimes I feel like I can never do enough or say enough prayers for him, so seeing how many others are also praying for him makes me feel much better!  :)  Did I mention the quilt itself is beautiful?  I love all the colors!  It's currently hanging on Will's crib and I'm planning to take it to the hospital with us when he's born.  Speaking of that, it's only 22 days away!

Thank you again to everyone for your continued prayers and support.  I am beyond humbled and appreciative for every single blog comment, email, card, etc.  Things are pretty hectic these days and my energy levels are starting to decrease a bit so I'm not always the best at getting back to you quickly, but I do read every single one and think of them often.

I also continue to pray about how I will ever pay all of this support forward.  I have so many ideas swirling through my head about how this whole journey can be used to glorify God when the time is right.  I don't know the answer to that yet, but I pray that the answer and guidance will come when the time is right.

Thanks again for everything and stay tuned for some fun house projects on the blog this week!

Cautiously Optimistic

Last week, the word for the day was befuddled.  Doctors were stumped about what condition or skeletal dysplasia may be affecting Will and it left us feeling torn.  In some ways, we were optimistic that he wasn't a textbook case.  In other ways, it was disheartening because it meant that we can't prepare ourselves solely for the osteogenesis imperfecta (OI) journey we thought we were on.

Today, I think the words for the day are cautiously optimistic.  We had another appointment and yet another ultrasound to check in on our little boy.  Here are some of the stats / updates from today's appointment:

• They estimate that Will weighs just over six pounds.  Since he's 35 weeks old, that actually puts him in the above average category in weight.  I'm really happy about this.   
• Will is laying in a head down position on his left side.  Unfortunately, this means that we couldn't get good images of his left femur and humerus.  These are the two long bones that have suspected fractures, and the femur was measuring really far behind at the last appointment.  Because we couldn't see this side of his body today, we aren't really sure what's going on with these bones.  That uncertainty nags at me, BUT...
• His right femur was measuring pretty close to on target for his gestational age.  We could see some mild bowing but no obvious fractures. His right humerus, tibia and fibula also looked good.  
• When you use all of today's measurements combined, Will is in the 74th percentile when compared to other babies his age.  I am LOVING that number.  Seriously.
• His skull and spine also looked good.
• Now, for the big measurement we were so anxious about!  Will's abdomen measured about 33 centimeters in circumference.  His chest measured somewhere between 22-24 centimeters.  Based on this chart, that's still under most babies his age that measure somewhere around 28 centimeters.  The good news is that today's ratio is somewhere between 0.67 and 0.73.  The last time we had this calculated it was 0.45, so I'm taking today's measurements as a VERY good source of hope.  Given that most doctors say that anything less than 0.6 is lethal,  I'm CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC about today's results!  Praise God for this bit of positive news and optimism that we have been so severely lacking the past few months.
• And the most charming update was we got to see that Will has quite the head of hair and he was also blinking at us!  :)  

Back to the numbers for a second...the tricky part to all of these measurements is that the bigger he gets the more difficult it becomes to get decent measurements.  Ultrasound is only a tool; it's not perfect and it may not be highly accurate at this point.  It's a good reference point, though, and we are happy it's there to help guide some decision making.  

Speaking of making decisions, THANK YOU to everyone that messaged me with their feedback on our big c-section vs natural delivery decision.  The overwhelming majority of you said we should absolutely go in the direction of c-section.  I had been leaning this way, too, and I'm happy to say that today we officially made the decision that we are indeed going to have a c-section.  We had a very, very long talk with the doctor about it, and we feel it's the best overall decision for everyone involved.  We are still scheduled to deliver Will on May 2 around 1:00 PM!  That's one week before my due date, so who knows if he'll hang out until then, but either way it will be a c-section for us!  I'm beyond relieved to have this decision and topic of discussion off our plate.

So, that's the update from today's appointment.  I actually left feeling somewhat better!  That's such a change from the way I usually feel after these appointments and I truly feel that God's hand continues to be at work with our precious boy.  Thank you for your continued prayers and support!  

Getting Ready for Will

I think this last month is going to be difficult.  It seems that ever since we passed the threshold of having less than a month before our planned c-section the reality of what's facing us is becoming more and more real.  As I type all that it seems a bit crazy, how could the reality only now be creeping up on us?  

I guess the best way I can explain it is that this journey so far has been all about the pregnancy.  Trying to stay pregnant...trying to make sure I didn't miscarry or deliver early.  Now, it's all about getting ready to actually give birth to Will.  Making sure that we are ready to bring him into this world and with that comes a million emotions.  I've thought lots about things I want to do when he's born; things I want to be sure to remember to do.  But now that we're getting so close to delivery day, I actually have to make sure I'm ready to do them.  

One of these tasks was getting our bags packed and ready to go to the hospital.  I wasn't feeling great today and got a bit panicky about it, so I rounded up all of our stuff tonight and got our bags packed and ready to go.  GULP.

1)  All of the necessary devices; iPhones, chargers, cameras and a headlamp!
Don't laugh... I love my headlamp.  I'm sure it will come in handy.  :)

2) Keepsake clay for capturing Will's hand and footprints.  I also packed some
special paper for his prints, too.

3) Special outfits!  Will's big sister wore these on her first days in the hospital
and she wore the hat for some photos when she got home.

4) I printed off signs for Will's bed in the hospital to make sure
everyone handles him with special care since he has suspected OI.

5) A special teddy bear that was Will's Daddy's when he was little and a swaddling
blanket that we used with his big sister that she has been sleeping with lately.

Some of the things that we've packed may seem silly, but given everything the doctors are trying to "prepare" us for, I wanted to have a few special things there that would help make it feel a little more like home.   I don't know if they'll help or not, but I feel better knowing that we have those special things ready for our little boy.

Besides packing bags and thinking through the logistics of everything, I think Carlton and I have also been trying to more emotionally prepare ourselves for whatever lies ahead.  I don't know that it's even possible to do this, but each of us are trying to reconcile things in our own heads..in our own way.

Tonight, I found Carlton sitting quietly with his laptop typing up a letter to his son.  I acted like I didn't know what he was doing, but after a little while, he turned quietly and asked me if I wanted to read it.  Of course, I said yes then quickly realized it may not have been a good idea.  All I will say is this...  I have an amazing husband.  I can't imagine going through something like this with anyone else in the entire world.  He is truly an amazing father and sweet Will is blessed beyond measure to have this man in his life.  I will never be able to express with adequate words exactly what Carlton means to me and how his constant reassurance has made this journey even possible.

I think Emme (Will's big sister) is even preparing in some ways, too.  I think she senses something is going on because she doesn't want to let me out of her sight.  She also positively melted my heart tonight when she was getting ready for bed.  We always give her big hugs and kisses before we tuck her in and tonight we leaned her down to my belly and she said, "love you, brother".  My heart is seriously so full... I'm so thankful for my family; my constant source of strength and reassurance that indeed everything will be okay.  No matter what happens.  It will be okay.

My Mom, Carlton & Emme in the hospital the day after she
 was born wearing one of the outfits I packed for Will.

We go back for another appointment tomorrow morning to check on Will and measure his chest and abdomen.  I'm prayerful that maybe the ratios won't be so low this time and maybe the doctors will become more optimistic...  I can't imagine losing our squirming little boy.

Milestones (17 years, 1 month)

If you've been reading the blog awhile, you know I have a crazy amount of respect and love for my Dad.  I wrote a whole post about him at the end of January that you can read here, and I've mentioned how inspiring he continues to be in this post about generosity.  I guess you can say that he truly is an ongoing influence in my life.

The crazy part of all this is that my Dad passed away seventeen years ago.  I didn't blog on Friday, March 30th, the anniversary of my Dad's death because I wanted to focus on thinking about him and my present life, not recounting the memories from that actual day.  Over the weekend, though, I continued to think about him more and I found myself missing his presence and wondering what he would be doing if he were alive today.  What words would he have to say to me about being a parent? Would he be reassuring about Will's birth and trying to make me think everything's going to be ok or would he be patiently reminding me about God's plan for us and how little Will fits in?  I wish I knew what my Dad would say.  I just know it would make me feel better.  The craziest part is that seventeen years have passed; my Dad has been gone for a longer amount of time than I actually knew him.  I think that says SOOO much about our relationship.

1st Picture:  Dad's classic pose  :)

2nd Picture:  Dad and Me Easter of 1984

3rd Picture:  Dad with my Grandmother

that just passed away at the end of 2011

I couldn't help but post that last picture.  I just love how my Grandmother is waving from behind my Dad.  She passed away at the end of 2011 just as all of the difficulties with Will were becoming known and I can't help but think of those two up in Heaven having a blast and watching down over us.  :)

Besides thinking so much of my Dad the past few days, I have also been thinking about the other big milestone.  Today marks the official day when we are one month away from meeting Will.  I'm still leaning towards a c-section and it's been scheduled for Wednesday, May 2.  Of course, he could decide to come early, but knowing that we are at the most one month away from his birthday just astounds me.  This pregnancy journey has been SOOO long and to know that there's an end in sight is overwhelming.  It is kind of bittersweet in some ways, too.  I know Will is safely tucked away here in my belly and the thought of bringing him out into this world where the reality of whatever lies ahead is going to greet us scares me incredibly.

I continue to pray for strength and peace in the days ahead, but sometimes I can't help but look back at people like my Dad and Grandmother for strength, too.  They were two truly amazing people that I know would love Will just as much as I ever can.